I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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