Screwed.edu
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We left the knife in your bed.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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