Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
