I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
