Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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