do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
