Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize