I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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