I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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