I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
