Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
