So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
