alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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