you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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