I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
