you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No I am not eating basil off your cock
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
