And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
