Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
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This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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