Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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