How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
