I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
