How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
MIDGETS
????
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
