Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
