As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
