Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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