he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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