Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
