oh god the rape fog is back!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize