Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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