dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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