Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
