3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
