I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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