Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
