Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
