Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
