I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
