finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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