I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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