Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize