why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I love you. Go after that dick
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Never underestimate the power of titties
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
