And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
