Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila