the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.