We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.