I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
