Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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