it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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