This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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