i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
