I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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