Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
