why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
