Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
