I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
