the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
