we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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