Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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