I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
