You can't special order awesome
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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