And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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