Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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