he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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