Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

(404): View more from Georgia

Who isn't?

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(914): View more from New York

vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable

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(575): View more from New Mexico

We need to talk about our relationship.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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(410): View more from Maryland

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.

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