Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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  (717): you can still come hang out if you want (248): I really don't feel like watching you play video games http://tfl.nu/d4ru
  Replies (19) Good night (846) Bad night (1587)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  and what kinds of feelings would these be?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Happy, horny, occasionally hungry

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  (586): their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig? (1-586): and what kinds of feelings would these be? (586): Happy, horny, occasionally hungry http://tfl.nu/z6jk
  Replies (7) Good night (1428) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer

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  (941): you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer http://tfl.nu/fwd9
  Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (2651)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises

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  (407): I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises http://tfl.nu/5v7b
  Replies (8) Good night (2796) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.

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  (269): Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/awvb
  Replies (8) Good night (2978) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (27821) Bad night (1932)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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  (612): i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain http://tfl.nu/an1d
  Replies (3) Good night (3775) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2881) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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  (306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together http://tfl.nu/varl
  Replies (4) Good night (1426) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?

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  (937): ... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard? http://tfl.nu/u1hc
  Replies (7) Good night (384) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

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  (920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. http://tfl.nu/3c2q
  Replies (8) Good night (1365) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...

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  (803): He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation... http://tfl.nu/sr4l
  Replies (0) Good night (570) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW

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  (860): NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW http://tfl.nu/dzo6
  Replies (12) Good night (951) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.

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  (850): I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again. http://tfl.nu/tqvr
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (201)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.

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  (203): This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me. http://tfl.nu/gwzp
  Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (292)

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