i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i think im in europe. pls send help