Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize